is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There r osticjed everywhere
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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