Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
