I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need moral support for this bender
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can you bring me the toilet please
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
