What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
