Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize