Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How naked do you want me to be?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
