U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize