Are we in a gay sports bar?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
