that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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