Little spoons don't ask big questions
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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