Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
