Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
