You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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