She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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