Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will pee on everything he values.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
