I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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