I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
