That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
