sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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