just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
