Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
