pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
