She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
