I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
