Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
