Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
