im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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