Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
