She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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