Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
