get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
