Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
