I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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