Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
