i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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