The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
