Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
