I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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