absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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