Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
