So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
