you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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