what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
