xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
