pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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