yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
