so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Green mimosas i think yes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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