she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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