where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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