Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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