Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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