i don't like sucking hair
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
