Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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