Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
