i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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