Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
